#320 - Friends with Benefits! (English)

Hi GuidoFox here! Wonderful that you will read this article ;)

Friends with Benefits is one of the most difficult relationship-forms to create & continue on a stable way. The main reason is that through all the sexual activities one of the friends fall in love while the other one just wanted to have some time-to-time attention.

Other reasons are that this form is uneasy to communicate towards each other from the start whereby the boundaries and intentions are not clear: are we dating seriously or not? And you don’t want to turn someone off from the beginning to say that he/she is only a friend (for that kind of purposes). Although, a complex relationship mechanism to discover further.

In my experience leads sexual activity at the first date merely to a situation of seeing each other around 3/4 times and then it ends. In the situation that sexual intercourse took place on the second date Friends with Benefits is more common. The love relationships that I had in my life, the sexual activity was on average 3-5 dates. So, how longer she wants to wait – I give the advice to go always for sexual activity on the first date to show intent and she could decline it/decide if she wants to go for a relationship or not (initially her task / capture the free guy mechanism) – the chance of a serious relationship increases. This is another reason of the complexity of Friends with Benefits: the time of the dating restraint.

A new question could rise-up: what’s the difference between Friends with Benefits and a so called Fuckbuddy?

A fuckbuddy you meet only for that purpose, but in my philosophy a fuckbuddy becomes automatically more a friend when you see each other multiple times. The reason is that you talk with her/him before the event and share stories together (emotional bonding process). The difference is following my opinion more in the location where you meet. If you meet every time at the location where you could do the event, there is more a friendly fuckbuddy-relationship. If you do things in between (dinner, motor driving, visit some places), there is more a Friends with Benefits-form. I remember one situation that after 6/7 sexual dates (at her or my place), I took her at dinner in between and after this dinner the frame was broken and she turned-off later. So, I would say (again): let her decide if she wants to do activities outside (she will give signs) and deepen the emotional relationship at this manner.

The last observation and trade-off: fuckbuddy-relationships are holding less longer than the Friends with Benefits ones. The deeper question for the highly advanced ones: are you letting her to break the frame or not, with the risk of losing her as a fuckbuddy and/or Friends with Benefits-material (if this don't work out as my example showed earlier)?

Greetz,

GuidoFox – Evolve your Life!

High-End Spiritual Dating Coach

www.GuidoFox.nl